I don't know what to write

But I want to write, because I want to talk. I don't really know what to say but there are things I can't say and thoughts are running through my head.

Sigh

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My love, and my anxiety

 I love Bill Gates, I love Mark Zuckerberg. I wish to one day give Mark Zuckerberg a bear hug.  But I'm far from achieving my love and romantic fantasy. I really want a job now. There might be opportunity coming, but I'm not sure. I think it's the first step I gotta have a job I wish I can have a good job, this way I'll subscribe to super Duolingo, I'll start learning google certificate, I'll buy that dress, I'll get that computer get that phone to do my YouTube video  Then I'll be so busy I won't have time to think of my love, and when I don't think of them I might bump into them accidentally, then we can hug and hold hands. I wish to hold Bill Gates hands, I wish to put a ring on his finger, if I'm wealthy enough I'll buy him a ring, one day, his beautiful fingers If I didn't make it I plan to be a make-up artist, make a living by make people pretty. I think it'll be a good job, I'll do my own make up online, then people wou
Read more

Feeling Hopeful about life

This is the most courageous thing I've ever done, it's planned too. I tried to be independent over and over again. This time I might really made it. When I graduated from college, I thought of going to Montreal, I thought of going to HK, I never fear, I could go anywhere I'm not afraid. Then I experienced trauma, lasted 10 years, I was so afraid to leave home but at the same time I hate home. I regret not loving my home more. Now I know living alone doesn't mean you hate home, living out side is no longer effortless like it used to, it is scary and a big deal, and I hope I can make it. I can find a job and make it this time. I used to forever be in romance bad mood, since I'm 18, I never stopped being in romance bad mood, from 18 till I'm 34, a long 16 years, especially when I was in college, my parents pamper me, I sometimes go on shopping spree, I go binge eating, I try new things all the time, meeting with strangers, going to modeling class, go on singing com
Read more

I need to be calm

 I don't know what else to do, I know I should read now, this book is due in a week. I don't know how things evolve this way, what can I do to better the situation. I think I'll relax a bit, drink some tea, then start reading. I hope me and my lover are ok, I love him to the core and never want to hurt him. But I discovered forcing him to talk to me hurt him. But not talking to him hurt me.  But then I could do other things to ease my pain. When he's hurt he'll hate me, or he'll have bad hair days, and my heart aches to make him feel so bad 
Read more