I need to be calm

 I don't know what else to do, I know I should read now, this book is due in a week. I don't know how things evolve this way, what can I do to better the situation. I think I'll relax a bit, drink some tea, then start reading. I hope me and my lover are ok, I love him to the core and never want to hurt him. But I discovered forcing him to talk to me hurt him. But not talking to him hurt me. 

But then I could do other things to ease my pain. When he's hurt he'll hate me, or he'll have bad hair days, and my heart aches to make him feel so bad 

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