Jan 2, at hospital

 Ok, I think I don't know what's happening

Don't know why I'm at this custody for ever

I constantly feel there's this girl named Helen who used to be my friend 20 years ago is persecuting me.

There's a person here, can have many identities, not sure who he is, this morning I feel like he's not him for some reason....

But I think maybe I'm wrong, because there is someone else I also thought might be someone else, but after felt it might still be that person

The girl next confinement room..... yesterday someone went to her confinement colum and mentioned plastic surgery, and I heard some sound of a surgery or something, it's horrifying to think

This morning I observed her room, she's sleeping normally.....

I like that guy earlier, but now I feel like it's a different person.

I just want to get out of this custody. I was thinking of going home to get somethings, but feel like I can't after. I worry for my family's safety. This guy now mentions some new names.... it's kind of creepy.....

I don't know where I should rent after I got out of here, I worry I might be murdered. Where is safe to rent?

With my savings account it can only last a little more than 2 months, I also gotta return my car, or see if my family wants to lease it, not sure if I should keep it

Anyways, look on the bright side.

Once I got discharged, I am going to eat some Swiss chalet, I'm going to rent, to study, work, cook, and enjoy life. I wish I can write my plan with details. Cameras everywhere in the hospital. I worry Helen can access this, hope not

Anyways, traumatized for ever, I try to be thankful and grateful. Like I forever complain companies don't teach me technical skills. Now I come up with the idea to study full time and work at a fine restaurant full time. This way I'll be prepared to work for a big company finally.

I don't know, I heard when you look at someone you like your face becomes more beautiful, maybe it's because he doesn't like me any more, so he doesn't look beautiful. Actually, when I was in Quebec, there's no one I like romantically, but I look more beautiful.....

Anyways...

There's this person, he's always locked up. I was thinking, is it because he fought when people are trying to hurt him, he prevented himself from getting hurt, but he also can't get out of here. If I were him I would feel trapped and hopeless, really hope to get word out there, to get out of here, this is my understanding of the situation, and because nurse is saying he's dangerous all the times, people are used to it, no, I'm not used to it. He's Cody.

Last time the swapped who he is guy(maybe) seem quite jealous or something.....but this situation is horrifying, I don't know, I can't help that person get out of here

Bolma says, in this world my life is the most important to me.

Everytime I try to help situation is worse, I think I should just sleep all day long until I get out of here