Posts

Ok, let me be at peace

 Ok, I bashed Joel Osteen again, anyways, I find the sermon he made a few years ago have much more content, maybe because you have to preach every week running out of topic to talk about it is hard, once there's a pastor everytime he preaches bring me to tears, just trying to find that again please work in me, as I shower, as I exercise, and do my homework, and eat my shrimp and ice cream, let me be filled with god

Why I bashed Joel Osteen

It's because I once hearing his sermons it says people are just generous to me, that I'm like a begger, and I need people to be generous to me. I think Joel Osteen's got this problem, he always say to ignore other people's noise, that's because his life is good, what if he one day is becoming the noise because he feel bad? or if he self control, that he wants to be the noise but he can't because he told others who behave like this is noise. maybe now he's gonna pray to not be the noise when he's in a bad place because I said this, you see? this kind of altering the nature of your feeling to go against a person's righteous confrontation, at least have the intention to point out your short coming, is it really godly? I think it is damn self centered. maybe you'll try to shut your ears, you see? that's what you are doing, anyways, just saying, today he was saying I'm noise. I took out Sunday morning to listen to his sermon, even intended to

Love them much and much

 I love my lover, love GeGe, love them so much, so strong, live them, love them, loves them deeply  I feel peaceful and heart full of love 

I love them

 I love GeGe, I love my lover, I love them. I would like to marry my lover, he's so cute. Dear, oh dear, in my heart, is full of him.

I need to be calm

 I don't know what else to do, I know I should read now, this book is due in a week. I don't know how things evolve this way, what can I do to better the situation. I think I'll relax a bit, drink some tea, then start reading. I hope me and my lover are ok, I love him to the core and never want to hurt him. But I discovered forcing him to talk to me hurt him. But not talking to him hurt me.  But then I could do other things to ease my pain. When he's hurt he'll hate me, or he'll have bad hair days, and my heart aches to make him feel so bad 

I can't do this any more

 I'm so sad, I'm in love with this guy but he seem to be cold to me, I don't know if he still likes me, I could see him, couldn't hold him, if I cannot even talk to him, I don't know what to do. It feels like hell to me

Therapy session

 I get therapy! I'm gonna do my own therapy by blogging, maybe I'll give my therapist this blog page, if he's allowed to look at patient's blog pages. I'll get better. Be someone my lover is proud of instead of being so uncool all the time. I hope my job will turn out to be ok, my business will make money, I'll be cool again because I have money, and he'll love me more and more